Should you go into business with your spouse?
Last week, I was a guest on "The Big Idea," a show on CNBC hosted by Donny Deutsch, and the topic of the day was whether a husband and wife should start a business together.
I was on hand to talk about why this is probably not a good idea for most couples out there.
My mom has a saying -- "never with your husband."
She came up with it after years of trying to run a business with my late father.
Both my mom and dad were successful entrepreneurs when they operated ventures on their own. My mom ran a successful home tailoring business and also did well with a boutique in Manhattan. My dad was a serial entrepreneur -- a furrier, stationary store operator and restaurateur.
But when they combined their efforts things usually collapsed.
Why? If you ask my mother she’d say it's because of my dad’s ego and his upbringing -- he was brought up to think men had to run the show.
When it came to my sisters and me, he wanted us to get a good education and never rely on a mate, but when it came to my mother, he wanted to be the boss.
I gave Deutsch five reasons for why couples shouldn't embark on cohabitation at work:
1. Marriage and business usually go belly up.
2. Kiss romance goodbye.
3. The dining room becomes the boardroom.
4. "I can't believe you said that." Try telling your spouse they screwed up.
5. The battle of the sexes. If you've never resolved the issue of which one of you is the boss at home get ready for all out war at home.
I know, I was being pretty negative. So I figured I’d offer you all some tips on how you might be able to make it work:
1. Follow the leader: I think one of the biggest things to figure out right away is the role for each spouse. In many marriages today, even though we're a more enlightened society, the husband often takes on the role of head of the household. How will that play out with the business, especially if the venture was the brainchild of the wife? You have to figure out who will be the leader of the company.
2. Erect a wall: While it's impossible to keep work and home life totally separate, couples have to do their best to have off-the-clock couple time, and they have to create boundaries when it comes to bringing family issues into the office or factory floor.
3. Find a mediator: Sometimes a couple will reach an impasse and be unable to decide on something, and because you're so emotionally invested in one another the risk of hurting your spouse's feelings is high. In general, I've always found that successful entrepreneurs have mentors or other business people they trust, and this sort of person would be a great source to help mediate any particularly sticky business decisions that crop up between you and your spouse.
4. Get on the same page: Before a couple even considers joining forces to form a company, they have to make sure they have a shared vision for the product or service they'll be selling. Since you could be sacrificing your most important relationship (your marriage) you want to make sure that the two of you have the same goals from the outset, or you'll be doomed.
The two couples I was on the CNBC show with -- Cricket and Brian Allen, the co-founderss of bot, a fortified water business, and Sandra and Kym Yancey, owners of eWomenNetwork, a national networking website -- seemed to have gotten it right.
Do any of you have stories of couple-run businesses that worked, or crashed and burned?
