Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Alun Jones, Woodinville, Washington — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:46:58 GMT

So, what about those of us that are "work-at-home Dads"? When my son was born, my wife's job as a traveling trainer, and mine as a computer programmer, made it obvious that I should stay home and take care of the house and child. This was especially true as the birth coincided with a time when a piece of software I had written in spare time was demonstrating an ability to support me full-time.
So, for the first eight years of my son's life, I worked from the house, raising my child, and taking whatever time was left over to run my business, while my wife had "the real job". Today, that situation is reversed due to a fascinating story that involves cancer treatments, health insurance, and a job offer across the other side of the country.
Of families where one parent is primary caregiver, 20% of the time that parent is the father. Granted, that's a long way from 50%, but it's far higher than most "normal" families are willing to accept as truth.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Traci Bisson, Barrington, NH — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 21:09:30 GMT

Please post this link for The Mom Entrepreneur Support Group. This group was formed to offer mom entrepreneurs an outlet for talking about their hectic lives. We support each other with tips and advice on managing the everday balancing act of motherhood and running a business.

http://groups.google.com/group/mom-entrepreneur-support-group?hl=en

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Liz, Denver, CO — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 02:43:24 GMT

I've been a mother for 5 1/2 years and owned my own business, which I run from my home, for the last two years. I have two boys, pre-k and toddler age.

I'll admit, it's a balance or maybe more a juggle but I make that personal sacrifice so I can have something for myself. I'm not completely fulfilled being a mother and a wife. I need an outlet that's just me. My brain needs to work overtime. I know that not all mothers need this, but I do.

So the juggle exists. But just like motherhood there are times where I really feel like I got the tiger by the tail and then other times where I'm learning and trying to figure it out. It's ever changing and evolving and so is my life with the boys.

In the end, no matter what you do along side mothering your children, I think we're all looking for that little something extra. For those of us "mompreneurs," we just have a few more balls in the air to keep it all together.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Valerie — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:40:56 GMT

We're always concerned about the "guilt" moms feel, but rarely about what the children go through in the chaos of not having an orderly day and a mother who is fully attending to their needs. The guilt I felt in this same situation was there because in many cases, the children weren't coming first. As babies/toddlers, their needs were stuck in between frantic phone calls, faxes and emails, stuck in a playpen with the door closed so that client wouldn't hear screams so I could get the job done. I was drained physically, emotionally and mentally. Why? I was trying to do two jobs simultaneously and neither got done well, frankly. The insanity of the chaos we working women live in has consequences for us, but more importantly, for the children we're supposed to be loving and actually training. Kids today are showing up for 4 and 5K still in diapers. They're selling night diapers for 6-8 year olds on TV. Why? The kids are not getting the attention they need, when they need it. It's sad, really, because now that I no longer have young children, that precious phase is gone forever in a blizzard of "work" that no longer matters.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Suzanne Balvanz — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:44:03 GMT

I struggle with this very situation. I am an ARMY wife and mother of three kids, two of whom have special needs (1 is severe), a homeschooling family AND then I am a business-owner (A photographer). I do my best to work around family but often feel like I am pulled in too many directions, but I chose this. My clients are briefed at the beginning that my family matters more to me than money. Since my bread & butter IS families like my own, they get me. I once had to take two months off when my oldest, most severely disabled child had some major issues. My life needs me, no business trumps that. My kids come first....

I do wish my husband helped out more though. :(

Suzanne
picture this by suzanne, photographer AND Mom and ARMY wife!!

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Joseph C. Eichel, August, Georgia — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:38:17 GMT

The above article doesn't mention the number of women with advanced degrees who [correctly] opt out of the work force to do what they should be doing: take care of their families.

Yes there are a few great female CEOs. There are a lot of posers. The politically correct "superFem" role model in the US has denigrated the role of the male work force, turned women into self-seeking failures, and gone no where. Amazingly, superFems are the rising stars of a dying economy.

A non-linear brain, though more complex than a male linear model, is more suited to support than leadership.

There is a tremendous social and societal cost to all of this. As women gain in political stature, their complexity results in unrealistic laws and management. Nancy Pelosi is a monstrous representative of obstructionism. She promised immediate results upon election but has delivered nothing.

Gloria Steinem and her ilk need to read the Bible instead of removing it from society.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Adonna Pruette, Charlotte, NC — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:30:50 GMT

I don't think that the superFem role is politically correct so much as it is "about time". For the first time in human history, women actually have a choice as to whether they would like to stay home, have kids, and raise a family or work overtime, get more advanced degrees, and have a career.
As far as having a non-linear brain goes, I would say that in some form, you are correct. I believe that this makes women more capable at completing many complex tasks / projects at one time that require attention to detail and teamwork instead of just pure leadership (standing around and pointing the finger). It sounds like to me that in the future corporate working models are going to have to change to accomodate this new way of working that women are adeptly proficient at.
And at last that brings us to, Nancy Pelosi's lack of deliverance. While I may not agree with her, she most definitely has been preceeded by several thousand years of men that promised the moon but only delivered rocks once they were in power.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Erika Geiss — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:55:44 GMT

Thank you for this article, it was a great post.

There is stress involved when it comes to being a WAHM, but in probably any business (and for those of us with type-a personalities, we'd find stress in gardening) there is a certain amount of stress involved. And like everything in a marriage, having a conversation about needs and expectations is probably a good place to start to get husbands (or wives for the WAHDs out there) to do more of their share of parenting. I think that one of the chief problems is that even among supportive spouses, there's still the idea in the back of the mind that we're not really working the same way when we work at home. My husband recently "got it," when I said to him, "you know, if I were at an office, away from home, you wouldn't even consider asking me to do x, y or z during the day" as an example. (And now that he telecommutes part of the week, he *really* gets it.)

And brava to Adonna ... I couldn't agree with you more about the historical perspective. Having the choices that we have as women is the gift of feminism for our generation--we can choose to sahm, wahm or wohm (and go back and forth among the choices). The sad part though, is that we're all still having to justify our decisions...hopefully, the next leg of feminism will make the need for justification disappear. For those of us who work from home, I don't think it's about opting out but rather, opting for something different.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Heather Allard — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:02:32 GMT

As a mom of three and a mom entrepreneur to two businesses, I agree wholeheartedly with this article--I'm stressed! I think it goes with the territory. But I do have to say, my husband is great about being my "co-CEO". I cut him some slack since he is still the primary breadwinner AND has to look presentable while speaking to 200+ people in the financial industry.

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Chrysa Smith, Jamison, PA — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 12:49:29 GMT

I thought it got easier as kids got older. But these past few months have been a blur:a son applying to colleges, playing on multiple soccer teams and busy with senior year events; a husband who is trying to keep his business afloat with the current economic situation in the country and a big change in his industry; an aging parent who counts on me for transportation and companionship---all while I am promoting a new book, wow!! I love visiting elementary schools and talking with younger children about reading and writing; brings back some fond memories. I continue to tell myself that this will all be perfect in about 9 months; when I give birth again--this time to an empty nest:(

Mom entrepreneurs are stressed out

Stephanie, Tarzana, CA — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:57:11 GMT

I can say as a mom of two toddlers, a business owner and a full-time employee I'm totally stressed out. There is hardly enough time to breath. It's a daily struggle to balance it all, but I believe it will pay off soon and I'll be able to quit my "job" and work on my businesses and maintain a great family relationship.